Track 11

......

(Kuguri-san came along with us to the hospital.....)

(I only got a glimpse of it from afar, but... he was trying to break his arms, wasn't he?)

—

......

.....Kuguri-san. I'm... sorry.

....For what.

It's not like I couldn't picture how you'd feel about a project involving the piano, Kuguri-san..... I could have stepped in, but... I didn't.

.....I said that I would do it, so of course you didn't stop me.

Even so... I still haven't figured out how I could be of any help to you.

I was so scared of hurting you that I couldn't say anything..... I was being a coward.

That's enough... I don't need you to comfort me.

.....—

I'm sorry, but... is it okay if I hug you?

I don't really know what to say, so... please, at least let me do this.

......—

.....Alright then.

(Good grief.....)

(I can hear Cica's heartbeat.)

(.....My arms are covered in dents and scratches, but I can still move them.)

......

(I could push Cica away, or hug him instead.)

(The fact I still have this option is because of these arms.....)

(I wonder if that is something to be pleased with, to be happy about.....)

(.....Back then, I didn't even have the will to simply put them on.....)

......

(Kuguri-san... is hugging me back.)

(I wonder if hearing Cica's heartbeat is one of the things I've gained from losing so much... Including him....)

.....Cica, do you think that I should change?

That I should become someone grateful for my despair?

(That I should become someone who can set aside my anger and hatred? Someone who believes that... despair can allow me to be reborn beautifully?)

.....

(.....The piano that was swept out to sea. The way he looked like he was choking back tears at the end of Raito-san's performance..... And the sight of him trying to destroy his arms..... It's all so heartbreaking.)

(.....I'm sure that the world only puts a spotlight on those who have overcome hardship and become successful.)

(But... it shouldn't have to be that way.)

Kuguri-san, I think you're fine just the way you are.

.....

Even if you don't change, I'll still want to give you a hug.

.....Is that so?

.....Excuse me. What are you two doing?

Ah, Nayuki-kun.

Pardon me, I'll be separating you two now.

Good grief, how impatient of you, Picim. We were fooling around for a bit, that's all.

.....Domeki-san. I don't have much to say to you today.

Nayuki-kun..... Is Raito-san okay?

He's doing fine. He got a few stitches, but it's nothing serious. The tour will proceed as planned, thanks to the Evening Team's hard work.

You're right. I need to show my appreciation later.....

(But I'm glad that Raito-san's okay.)

.....Domeki-san.

If you would like to have a discussion with that idiot, then please feel free to do so in the reserved hospital room. It's rather conspicuous to converse out in the hallway.

I'll be going ahead to handle some accounts. What about you, Chief?

.....! Um, I'll be heading back to the office to prepare for the tour tomorrow. I'd like to check in on everyone's work.

(I'm curious about how Raito-san is doing, but... I think it'd be best to leave him and Kuguri-san alone for now.)

Let's head back together then. .....Domeki-san.

Please take good care of your arms.

.....*Sigh*.

Kuguri!

You came to see me?! Thank you!

*Sigh*.....

.....Your injury.

Ah, I've got good news! Apparently this scar will be staying for life! Come, take a look!

(There's a scar on his back..... And it's permanent?)

.....Is that something to be happy about? You really are a masochist, aren't you?

You left a mark on me, so I won't forget you ever again.

.....

I didn't remember you when we met in prison, after all..... I truly apologize for that.

I've already forgotten about that.

Haha, I see. Well, it’s alright if you forget about me. I just don't want to forget you.

.....

.....Kuguri.

This letter... It was blown away, so I picked it up.

I'm sure it will have the opposite effect on you.

.....Opposite effect?

Because you.....

(Like to do the opposite of what people tell you to do.... I think.)

(If I blab about finally figuring out how to handle Kuguri, it might not be as effective.... I suppose I should keep that to myself for now.)

.....

Do you need this letter?

Of course not. It's nothing but trash.

I'll tear it apart then.

.....!

It's nothing but a worthless piece of paper to you. But I'm the one who picked it up without permission, and the one who tore it apart.

.....I'm not going to thank you for that, you know?

Of course not, I did that for my own sake.

So it's for your own self-satisfaction. You're the same as ever.

That's right. What I'm about to say is for my self-satisfaction, too.

.....Please don't try to destroy your arms ever again. If you actually break them, I might just have to gift you new ones.

Just the thought of that sends chills down my spine.....

Right? If you dislike the idea so much, then please cherish the ones you have now.

You have no right to boss me around.

.....Kuguri.

Your fingers are still as beautiful as ever.

—

We've both changed a lot since we first met..... But your fingers haven't. They've always been so beautiful.

.....I've lost the fingers I had back then.

.....Even so, the fingers and arms you have now are proof that you never gave up on living.

To me, that's the most beautiful thing of all.

—

I wish I could hear you play the piano once more before I die. I truly believe you'll play again someday.

Do you even hear how absurd those words are? What I want won't change simply because you feel that way.

But a man can dream, right? I still want to play a duet with you, after all.

Of course, you are already beautiful as you are now, but.....

I hope that one day, while I'm still alive... you'll be able to say that your despair has made you stronger and nobler.

Because I know firsthand that having someone believe in you is what makes a person strong.

......

You're truly naive, Raito.

Yes, I suppose this is the only way I know how to love you. .....I'm well aware that it isn't to your liking but even so, I cannot give up on you.

Pft...... The day you wish for will never come, not even in a hundred years. I'll spend every day until your death making sure you understand that.

(So... you're going to stay with me until the day I die?)

.....What are you smiling about?

It's nothing..... I'm just really happy right now.

(There's still hope. Before I die, I wish for him to sit in front of the piano..... Once he hears the sound one more time, he'll understand.)

(After all, Kuguri... loves the piano more than anything else in the world.....)

Getting to know you better is what really matters to me. I'll keep devoting my heart to you, always.

......

(If I could just get to know Kuguri better... I could bring him back to the piano. I want to be the one to guide him.)

(Even if this is nothing more than my terrible arrogance.)

(This... is my way loving Kuguri.....)

(What is he thinking about now? He truly is such an infuriating man.....)

(.....But if I run away from him now, that would go against my own values. That's why.....)

(I've no choice but to completely crush and destroy those delusions of his. To drive him to despair when his time comes.)

(.....Once I do that, then every God will vanish. Whatever it was that guided me, my lingering attachment to the divine protection I lost.... All of it. I'll finally be able to destroy it all.)

Once that's done, I can rest at last.....

? Did you say something?

.....Just that I truly despise you.

I see, we really are complete opposites!