Track 5

Haha, what a pathetic tone. It's utter blasphemy to Liszt. Or should I say, to Schumann himself.

Hmm, I believe I've played it without fault so far, though.

If you can't even read the sheet music properly, maybe you'd be better off gouging those eyes out entirely?

The sheet music.....? Uhm.....

Ah, you mean the lyrics! Of course I've read them. I listened to the original song, too!

Which means that none of those efforts bore any fruit.

This is a love song, after all. So playing it without emotion renders it completely meaningless. Liszt's rendition proves that even a piano can sing with such passion.

.....! I see. I suppose I should bring out the melody more, then.....

(Ever since he agreed to teach me, he's been dropping more precise hints.)

(.....I'm only realizing it now, but Kuguri really did hone his skills in the professional world.....)

What?

Nothing.

Let's see..... The lyrics here translate to... "You my soul, you my heart. You my rapture, O you my pain"..... ¹

.....! Kuguri, about the A♭ and C notes here..... Wouldn't it be easier to play them with my right hand instead of my left? Look!

Hah?

.....Yes, this is much better.....

Like so! Right? I feel like it sounds nicer this way, too!

.....

(Despite being an amateur... rather, it's because he's an amateur... he's not afraid to experiment with the fingering. That sort of thing... really irritates me.)

You've let 3 notes die in that arpeggio just now.

I-I'll try it again....!

Heh..... The piano is groaning miserably from your rough touch.

You're being too self-indulgent with that passage. You can't even distinguish between pressing the keys roughly and pressing them deeply. Even the way you play music is selfish.

Ugh..... Deeply, not roughly..... Deeply.....

There.

Ah!

You let the notes cut out again.

(Ugh, this measure... the fingering is rather difficult, so I keep messing up.)

Damn it, I can't even play it in line with the score.....

You see, the thing with this is that it isn't something an empty person like you can just luck out on. It won't allow you to form a relationship with it so easily.

All you can do is play it over and over again. Until the notes are engraved into your hands. Until you lose your mind.

So that's what your relationship with the piano is like.....

(I've always lived life in a hurry..... I suppose he's the opposite of me. I've engaged with so much, but only ever scratched the surface. But him— his music has reached heights that could only come from facing a single pursuit head-on, with absolute depth…..)

.....To put it simply, you lack imagination.

Imagination.....

You mean that... my fingers will move the way I want them to if I believe they can?

(He's not entirely wrong, but....)

.....You're supposed to imagine the scenery depicted in the song, and bring it to life for the audience. It's about becoming one with the world and the emotions the composer put into the song.

The scenery.....

Of course, it'll be quite challenging for you. After all, you'll never understand the kind of love Schumann felt for Clara. Not in this lifetime.

.....I do have those I love, though. You're one of them.

.....Hah, as if.

What about you, Kuguri? Any scenery that moves your heart?

.......

.....Petris.

Petr... Ah, you mean the wine— Got it. I'll bring some over.

.....Concrete.

Hm? I'll bring some white caviar as well, then.

The scent of the sea.

And Shipwrecked Heidsieck 1907.²

.....It's not that far away. The vast ocean.

???

Enough chitchat. Take it from the top. And don't be so harsh this time.

Play it more gently. Like you're caressing it. If that's even within your abilities.

.....A-Alright.

(Kuguri's favorite spot..... I wonder where that is?)

(He spent the whole night practicing. He's managed to stop skipping notes at the climax. About half the time at least.)

(But if he skips notes there of all places, the judges won't be the only ones to notice. Everyone else will, too.....)

Kuguri! I brought some drinks. What would you like?

.....Left one.

Here you go.

(He didn't pick the one I thought he would.....)

(It's just like with Kugutama..... I see, Kuguri is—)

Your staring is irritating.

Ah..... I was just thinking. Hibiki-san, was it? She said she heard you play in Vienna.

......

.....There's something I've always wanted to ask. Could you tell me why... you quit playing the piano?

.....Hah.

You're the only person to ask me that after seeing what's become of my arms.

If you don't want to tell me, then that's okay.

......

(.....He's tapping his fingers on the desk, as if he's playing.)

(I used to do that, too..... Always playing the piano, even in my dreams.)

......

With those arms of yours, I'm certain you won't be ready in time for the competition. You'll never grasp the essence of this song.

.....The recording you sent me was so beautiful, though. I wonder what kind of scenery the performer had in mind then.

.....Who knows.

Even if you did know, there's no world where you'd be able to play it the same way. Just give up and accept that your playing is only good enough for amateurs' ears.

......

—.....I used to think that as long as I worked hard enough, I could get anything that I wanted.

And honestly, I did. Up to a certain point, there was nothing I couldn't get my hands on.

......

When I first met you, I was practically invincible. After all, I grew up so lucky. I even managed to get a child prodigy piano player to come to our house, just because I said I wanted to meet him. Haha!

Is that so.

—.....But everything changed when I heard my death prophecy.

.....

After that, my world completely changed. If I'm being honest, the reason why I forgot about you was because... my memories from before that prophecy became rather hazy.

.....I don't care.

......

I've never told anyone this, but..... at the time, I was furious with the world. All I could think was "Why me? Why does it have to be me?"

.....

(Why... did it have to be Frederick....)³

.....

It felt like I had no choice but to swallow something I couldn't forgive.

I couldn't forgive it.... But even so, time marched on, mercilessly. The fate and reality I couldn't accept kept closing in on me by the minute.

.....

(No choice but to swallow it..... A merciless fate and reality he couldn't accept... huh.)

Back then... when we played a duet together, I never imagined things would end up like this. The two of us.....

Have changed a lot since that day.

(....."Changed". More like I was forced to change.)

—

(Why on earth am I here, alone, with this man—.....)

.....There was no reason or logic behind it. Cruelly so.

.....?

The city was destroyed.

Countless people were caught up in it and died. Just by being at the wrong place at the wrong time. No one was ready to face that kind of loss. And not a minute of respite was granted—not even for a second.

Quite different from the likes of you, who was given a prophecy.

I may have ended up with these arms... but you could say that I got lucky.

.....I see.

No reason behind it, huh.....

.....Yeah. Life and existence themselves have no value or meaning. I suppose they're simply a collection of overlapping coincidences.

.....

—I neither affirm nor deny God. To be honest, I can't even begin to fathom such an omnipotent being's existence in the first place.

Hmmm, so you mean to say that whoever made you swallow that "death prophecy" was not God.

.....I wonder. It might have been God... and it might have been the universe, I have no idea.

But I think, if God did exist, then they're surely a fickle, free-spirited being. Someone who is both hateful and loveable. Someone like you.

.....

Haha. If it was you who gave me that "death prophecy"... then I might have been happy to hear it. If it was what you wanted, I might have accepted it.

.....You're hopelessly impudent as ever.

Haha. But you enjoy using me to amuse yourself, so it's not that bad, right? Most of the time, you find everything I do rather unpleasant, after all.

.....That statement just now was incredibly offensive.

I see. I suppose so.

.....

(Even this man..... has felt something akin to despair before....?)

—.....

Ah, the sunrise is beautiful.

.....

..... I may have said earlier that life and existence have no meaning. But if that were the case, that just means it's a blank canvas, right?

Sunsets, sunrises..... Beautiful music, too. Everyone can decide for themselves what they feel about them. I think the same can be said for life and existence in itself.

.....

Playing the piano is fun. Every sound only lasts for a moment. But I feel like I'm able to give meaning to each one through my fingertips.

If so, don't you think the piano is like hope? What do you think, Kuguri?

.....To me—

It's nothing more than a decrepit ruin.

(You said that God would be someone loveable, but I simply cannot agree in the slightest.....)

The reason why you can be so optimistic about every little thing is because you only have one thing to lose. Your life.

.....I see. That might be it.

.....Playing the piano is fun, but... I do not wish to tarnish your reputation. I probably wouldn't have felt so uneasy now, if not for you.

.....I've always been so selfish because I was usually the only one who could get hurt from my actions.

Well, I think that Nayuki... did suffer quite a bit, though.

(The little one chose to suffer all on his own, but he doesn't deserve to hear that. This ever-so-kind man should carry that guilt for the rest of his life.)

.....You must have endured so much loss to think that way.

.....

If it weren't for you, I'm sure that there'd be countless emotions I never would have known. After all... Kuguri, you're like my mirror.

.....I don't care about that.

Haha, I guess you don't. Alright, how about we get back to practice!

I lack imagination..... Imagine it.....

Imagine it. Imagine.....!

.....